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Post by minx on Jun 11, 2024 15:00:47 GMT -5
Probably belongs in politics, but whatever.
Ex-friend went down the Q'Anon rabbit hole during the pandemic and is batshit crazy. I still have her as a FB friend because it's always good to see what the lunatic fringe is up to nowadays.
So out of the blue, she sends me a message through FB messenger. Starts out pretty innocuous - she doesn't understand why we can't have a civil conversation online anymore, so maybe doing a private one may be better.
Then she starts saying that she's not a homophobe (don't ever recall saying that SHE was, only that she was openly supporting one in Trump). She then continues by saying that she's fine with trans folks, just as long as men don't go into women's safe spaces.
I assume she means bathrooms. It's funny how no one is worried about a trans man using the men's room (even though they're at much greater risk of being harmed), but everyone freaks out about a trans woman using the women's room.
Seriously, I have never heard any cis man ever claiming they were transgender as an excuse for raping or otherwise attacking a woman. Never.
Oh, but her husband (who divorced her) is totally homophobic. That's why she had to kick him out. She keeps on insisting that she kicked him out, when the truth is that he left because he couldn't handle the crazy anymore.
Just very sad.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Jun 11, 2024 18:20:30 GMT -5
That's a lot to unpack for me right now and my thoughts are all over the place to the point that I have absolutely no idea where to start. I will say this until then; Social media has changed the dynamics of friendship, and I'm not sure if it's for the better.
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Post by k9krap on Jun 11, 2024 23:34:32 GMT -5
Rick Wilson had an excellent post on his substack today about how one would explain voting for Trump to their children. Of course, I would have gone further than he on all of his exploits, but it was well done, nevertheless. I’ve lost touch with many of my colleagues/friends. Not even over politics! But I can’t handle drama anymore. It’s just not worth it. It’s why my sister and I are estranged. When she accused me of treating her like she was “my n-word”, that was it. I have no patience for shit like that. My life at the time was stressful enough.
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Post by minx on Jun 12, 2024 7:55:10 GMT -5
I did end up responding last night. Told her that I don't know where she got the impression that I thought she was homophobic, but that I was questioning her comment on safe spaces for women.
I pointed out that most trans people are terrified to use a public or school bathroom for fear of being attacked, including my own daughter who no one would look twice at in terms of her gender identity. And that many trans kids hold it all day, leading to urinary tract infections and worse. I also said that medical care for a child should be between that child, their parents and their doctor. And that hormonal therapy was not as easy to come by as people would like to think.
Said that I would not discuss politics with her, and asked how her kid and new boyfriend were.
I think right now she's mostly interested in bashing her ex, who had the balls to finally leave her when the crazy got to be too much for him to handle. According to her, she kicked him out. Because he's a total homophobe. Oh wait - it's because he's uber religious and reads the King James bible in German every day. No, the real reason is that he questioned the paternity of their eldest son. This is actually the real reason - she told him that the kid wasn't his, and that's when he realized that he needed to leave while he still could.
I think on some level, she's looking for some sort of path back to reality. But it will be a looooong one for sure.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Jun 12, 2024 10:04:23 GMT -5
Just touching on my comment above, when people are discussing something one to one, face to face, it can be an entirely different dynamic than typing their thoughts (or lack thereof) on social media. However, as a supposed "friend" we receive that message the same way. I think honesty plays a big part. Honesty can be impolite, offensive, and unwelcomed. When we deal with people one on one, we don't always get the unbridled honesty that comes with the security of posting their truth on the internet. If someone disagrees then they can "unfriend you" cleanly, without an argument. Do you ever post on the internet knowing your words will reach certain people or even make them with the intent to direct them towards those people? Of course you do! And so do I. However, I restrict my comments that I know will upset actual friends just as I would if we were face to face. Is that being dishonest or respectful? YMMV
Speaking just to this one aspect of your post. To me the rest is sort of secondary and even irrelevant as I see it, but I'll let it marinate for a little while.
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Post by minx on Jun 12, 2024 13:53:43 GMT -5
I get what you're saying. I have to say that I will comment directly on a friend's post sometimes, but it really does depend on the person. Some folks who post too much shit just get blocked or de-friended.
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