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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 10, 2019 9:51:31 GMT -5
But the elevator doesn't reach the roof. I wish I could say it makes me sad, but given the endless judgements passed on me through the years, not so much. I will do whatever they need me to do that I'm able to do. I can forgive, but I do not forget, even in my own family.
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Post by No. 1 son on Aug 10, 2019 11:26:53 GMT -5
Don't carry that stuff around, John. You don't need it, and it may prevent you from being more effective when it counts.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 10, 2019 14:31:31 GMT -5
These shoulders are broad, my brother. It just so happens my level of disattachment is just what was needed here to get things headed in the direction long overdue. Don't get me wrong Larry, I haven't lost my empathy for anyone. Not yet anyway.
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Post by No. 1 son on Aug 10, 2019 14:53:58 GMT -5
Nothing that a little sea cruise won't cure. link |
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Post by minx on Aug 10, 2019 19:48:08 GMT -5
I am sorry John. Families can be shit.
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Post by k9krap on Aug 10, 2019 21:13:29 GMT -5
At least you can choose your friends. 😢
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Post by bobathon on Aug 11, 2019 4:32:39 GMT -5
I am sorry John. Families can be shit. Especially if they're full of grief or anxiety. |
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 11, 2019 7:45:38 GMT -5
I am sorry John. Families can be shit. Especially if they're full of grief or anxiety. That's not the case because right now I'm taking a *huge load off their shoulders* and everything is nice and cordial . This goes back to the first stumble, the first fall, and when their worlds were perfect enough to not only dismiss my fear and anxiety but to willfully contribute to it. This has been going on for decades and up until last October, when her closest sister broke off communication because she stood up for me. I'm about as imperfect as they come, yet here I am. All I want out of it is for those bitches to be sisters to my wife. **Brick pavers for the path to you know where. Trust me. |
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 11, 2019 8:22:25 GMT -5
So aside from the family animosity BS..
Her old man- on the way to the nursing home provided they stick to the plan. The alzheimers isn't going to get better.
Her mom- Battered and bruised but getting better. Still has about half her marbles. Doesn't get around real good but I put a walker in front of her and she's been using it without any resistance. They have to figure out what to do with her too.
My old man, early stages of dementia and possibly Parkinson's (tremors) he's still "here" and functioning.
My mom- In and out of hospital with everything from mental issues, drug withdrawals, GI bleeds, and whatever else. Doesn't get around much better than the mil. At least she's not showing any signs of marble loss at this time.
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Post by minx on Aug 11, 2019 13:10:28 GMT -5
That's way beyond a total shit show John. Your ILs may suck ass, but I'm glad you're there for your wife, and it says a lot that you are doing your best to be compassionate towards her parents.
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Post by k9krap on Aug 11, 2019 16:37:07 GMT -5
I’m so sorry. John. The shit really does seem to hit all at once. I went through it with my parents and husband. I was working, too, so juggling visits with work was a bear. Plus, the guilt from not paying attention to the dogs. I would get home at midnight or later every day, exhausted and so depressed. It got easier once my parents got home from their respective facilities and I was lucky that they had enough money to pay for daytime home care. The stress is unbelievable. My first husband stressed me so much that my frizzy curly hair went totally straight. This time, it fell out!
This is so much why I’m done.
If there’s anything you need, let me know. We are there for you.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 12, 2019 18:15:32 GMT -5
Rehab won't take him and hospital says he has to go (not sick) and daughters are entirely against getting him admitted to psych hospital. So I have to bring him home tomorrow morning.
I'm beside myself with excitement.
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Post by k9krap on Aug 12, 2019 20:03:52 GMT -5
Oh, shit. I’m so sorry. When it rains, it pours. I’ve always heard that we aren’t given more than we can handle (if one believes in a supreme force). But, what becomes of those bearing the terrible load and who is left to take on their onus when they can no longer bear it? It used to be family, but not anymore.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 12, 2019 20:46:21 GMT -5
Well, at least we're only on the hook with him here tomorrow and Wednesday. Denver will be here Wednesday late night, and Alexandria will be here Thursday afternoon. We're packing and rolling first thing Thursday morning.
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Post by k9krap on Aug 12, 2019 21:40:46 GMT -5
Good for you!
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Post by minx on Aug 13, 2019 8:24:33 GMT -5
Ugh - I would tell the others to step it up a bit and do something, cause you aren't in a position to save the day every time.
I take it no one holds a power of attorney for either one of them?
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 13, 2019 10:52:06 GMT -5
2 of the other 3 sisters (Denver and Alexandria) are here often. Phoenix was here about a week ago. We are the ones who don't make it except on occasion, for obvious reasons.
Yeah I think Denver has medical power of attorney and Alexandria has something for handling the finances. Phoenix is executor of the will.
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Post by minx on Aug 13, 2019 12:23:49 GMT -5
Well, I'd tell Denver and Alexandria to get their asses in gear, cause they have the ball now. Then tell them to google 'nursing homes in VA'.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 13, 2019 14:56:26 GMT -5
I'm going to need a stiff drink when I get home. Probably 2. Most likely 3. Possibly 4.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 13, 2019 21:10:54 GMT -5
I'm there this morning to get him. Nurse is going over the discharge paperwork with me and as we're wrapping everything up she says "oh, here" and hands me this pamphlet.... "this is a great guide to put him on a heart-healthy diet".
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 14, 2019 6:40:46 GMT -5
I should've asked if they had a booklet for letting nature take its course.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 14, 2019 12:29:55 GMT -5
Don't leave me here complaining to the data packets y'all!!
T-18:01:00
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Post by minx on Aug 14, 2019 12:32:09 GMT -5
I figured you were busy getting the old man settled.
Or did you just open the van door and push him out?
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 14, 2019 13:24:14 GMT -5
I have seen some shit...
Literally.
This wasn't in the fucking brochure. At least he stayed in the bed all night and didn't try to get up. Keeps trying every 2 seconds otherwise. I took him for a short walk in his chair in the neighborhood. First daylight on his skin in probably weeks or more. Then out on the patio, where he kept trying to get up. I hate to say it but everyone including him is probably better off that he can't walk anymore. He falls once a week (which is why he was hospitalized, SUPPOSEDLY) and tries to get out of the house. Haven't checked to see if the area has a lost and found elderly person who needs their meds Facebook page.
T-16:37:00
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Post by k9krap on Aug 14, 2019 16:49:36 GMT -5
Restraints? Maybe one of those GPS things that families obtain for their demented.
And I fall (or used to) at least once a week. Had a spate of falls in March and again last month. My hips are giving way on me more often. The worst part of falling for me these days is getting up. Seriously.
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Post by minx on Aug 15, 2019 10:37:23 GMT -5
If I were you John, I wouldn't even think of restraints. Just because of what you've said about the sisters. They would be happy to use that against you in a red-hot minute.
Please document all of his actions - I know it's a pain in the ass, but write down every time he tries to get up when he shouldn't or tries to get out of bed, ect. Write down what you did to prevent it.
Make a copy and give it to the sisters - let them know that this is a really big problem, and you took the time to note how often he's restless because you feel they need to know this, and take immediate steps to protect him.
And if they don't, I'd contact the county's office on aging. Give them the notes, tell them he's a danger to himself and something needs to be done.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 15, 2019 17:25:12 GMT -5
They had him in restraints in the hospital. reason being he was highly agitated and swinging n kicking. When I got him home he was docile and even though he wanted to keep getting up, he couldn't. Too weak to get up and the biggest worry was him trying to get out of the bed, since that would mean picking him off the floor. Denver got there late last night and she was all over it this morning at like 0600. I was Very impressed. We left at 0800 ish and are home now. I'm decompressing. It's gonna take a minute.
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Post by k9krap on Aug 15, 2019 19:04:42 GMT -5
Where is home? With your son?
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Aug 15, 2019 19:21:17 GMT -5
Daughter. Goldvein.
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Post by k9krap on Aug 15, 2019 20:28:05 GMT -5
Is that a better, more relaxing environment for you and Mrs. Jeeze? I’m hoping so, for both your sakes.
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