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Post by k9krap on Oct 31, 2022 20:58:28 GMT -5
When you take a step and there’s nothing there - just air? It’s exactly how it felt many years ago when I was carrying an armload of puppies down to the basement and rolled my ankle, shattering every bone in the vicinity. And, I felt it again as I descended the stairs this evening, although the roll wasn’t complete. It hurt like hell, but because I was grasping the handrail, I was able to catch myself and halt the ankle roll. But, damn, was that a scare!
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Post by minx on Nov 1, 2022 7:41:20 GMT -5
Not good! Please be careful!
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Nov 1, 2022 9:55:28 GMT -5
Yes I know the feeling well.
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Post by k9krap on Nov 1, 2022 18:48:53 GMT -5
I’m fine. It is the main reason I use a cane. My joints have been abused so much, they are no longer reliable. My knees give out regularly, and this shattered ankle is weakening by the day. So believe me, I hang on to anything and everything I can when I’m moving about. Oddly, my mother shattered her ankle the same way - going down the steps and feeling nothing.
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Post by minx on Nov 2, 2022 8:42:31 GMT -5
My friend had drop foot. Nothing but neuropathy in her right foot. She had to learn how to walk again after her embolism and said it was terrifying because she has no sense whatsoever of where that foot is when she puts it down.
Whenever I get whiny about something being hard, I think of her and all the work she has done to get back to a normal life. Doesn't stop me from whining mind you, but does remind me that hard things are entirely possible and to keep persevering.
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Post by k9krap on Nov 2, 2022 20:22:22 GMT -5
Mom had neuropathy in her feet and hands. Diabetes ravaged her. She also had Charcot foot - her feet looked like balls by the time she died, they were rounded on the bottom from the disfigurement.
I try not to whine. I note problems and feel proud when I can overcome something, but I have a real issue finding a reason to persevere. I really have none.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Nov 3, 2022 17:00:11 GMT -5
I'm sorry to hear that and also I don't know what sage advice to give since I'm more of a medicine man than a spiritual one. But if we're being 100% honest with ourselves there is actually what I believe to be spiritual death which is neither closer to a live body than it is a dead one. Keep reading I'm not done yet.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Nov 3, 2022 18:47:31 GMT -5
And of course a spirit cannot survive in a dead body but in my opinion, can live in other host bodies (we call it the heart but it's more accurately a section of a subsection in what would be the front offices of the conscious memory department of the brain. So, memories that are more than memories, feelings that are both known and unknown to the memory of you in other. Ka-peesh?
So as an old and dear friend said from the time I was literally a teenager up until his time to pass the torch, The Professor is what we called him, would always say in this vein.... "there's a thousand people standing in line" that I always knew meant "perspective". Over time and experience I've added, "and half of them aren't actually standing, and half of those don't even know the difference"....
for perspective.
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Post by k9krap on Nov 3, 2022 20:04:27 GMT -5
I’m dead inside. Have been for a while. I’m the true life version of Neil Young’s “The Loner”.
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Post by minx on Nov 4, 2022 8:51:56 GMT -5
I read a book about the opioid crisis and one line that stood out was a doctor who talked about his patients living 'lives of quiet despair'.
I wish I knew a way to get joy or a sense of purpose back to you Pam. You are a great person who has done a lot of good things for the world.
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Post by k9krap on Nov 13, 2022 21:48:20 GMT -5
This morning, I was attempting to drift off, you know - I’ve got all my parts in a reasonably comfortable position, my eyes are covered by a soothing hot compress. I’m more than ready for that lovely feeling of drifting off to oblivion. All of a sudden, my heart starts beating furiously - no warning, no build up, just immediate 200+ bpm. So, I’m trying to breathe through it. I can’t 4-7-8; I just couldn’t get my mind wrapped around that. Then, after a few minutes, it stopped as suddenly as t started. There was no slowing down - just abrupt stop. It was so abrupt, it felt as though my heart had stopped beating completely, but I was breathing. These are the weird attacks that leave me wondering what the fuck is going on with me?
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