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Post by minx on Feb 20, 2024 11:10:31 GMT -5
Long backstory here, so here is the short version.
Friend's husband is bat-shit crazy and a hoarder. They live in England Run and he's been told more than once to clear out the shit on the apartment balcony and in the back of his (open bed) pickup.
She has tried to clean the balcony area, but he starts yelling (noise complaints now) and brings even more shit in.
They were served an eviction notice. She works FT so wasn't there when it arrived and her husband didn't say anything to her (but he bitched to all the neighbors about the rental company being a bunch of assholes).
So yesterday, on her day off she was bringing in groceries and a neighbor kindly stopped her and asked if they needed help clearing the balcony so she wouldn't be evicted - WHOA! What eviction???
She and her daughter need a place to stay for a few weeks, which I have covered (they can use our spare bedroom), but my biggest concern is their possessions and also her credit.
She's going to call the rental office today to get more details, but do any of you know if there's a way that she can keep an eviction off of her credit so she can get a new place?
And any leads on a one or two bedroom apt would be helpful!
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Feb 20, 2024 13:01:17 GMT -5
I would say to "lawyer up" but that would be expensive and if her name was on the lease, probably not going to work since evictions are handled and recorded in the courts. If I were her I'd try talking to the management company about it and see if there's anything they can do for her. Worth a shot, def nothing to lose right? If nothing else, most places you rent from will consider exceptions, and could verify that the eviction wasn't of her doing. Make sure to apply in office and not online, attaching a letter of explanation to the application.
When we were evicted the first time. My God, I can't believe I just typed "the first time".... anyway, Mo Wilson Properties, the ones that evicted us the second time, FML, took a letter of explanation when we applied for that place. BTW, we lived there almost 7 years before things got behind again. And that was through her initial stages of dealing with the MS, a kid in college, and one in school. Not that I feel any better but it goes to show that you CAN get through shit. Twice even.
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Post by minx on Feb 20, 2024 14:34:06 GMT -5
She's a super tough person and very resilient, so I know she'll land on her feet. Just wish she didn't have to deal with this along with her asshole of a husband who refuses to get any mental health treatment.
He's bipolar (probably I), and did go on meds a while back but complained about how they made him feel. I suspect he didn't like losing the manic side of things. I've been told that people like it because they feel like they have tons of energy and can get shit done, when the opposite is true - they may have tons of energy, but don't get anything done and make things worse.
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Post by minx on Feb 22, 2024 15:05:07 GMT -5
Update
Talked to the friend's daughter (friend is the type who plays things down, so I wanted the real scoop).
Husband's behavior is getting increasingly erratic and no one knows what to do about it. He was threatening anyone who dared touch his things.
He also goes around to more dumpsters than the ones at the apartment - he's obsessed with 'maintaining order'.
We discussed renting a storage unit, hauling all the crap there, and then simply stop paying (evil, I know but these are desperate times). She said she'd make some calls, including to her mom.
Mom texted me today - rental office said they weren't evicting, but if the shit wasn't gone by tomorrow there would be a hefty, hefty fine.
Her son-in-law came by with a trailer this morning and cleared the patio out. Dad went batshit crazy when he found out and is demanding that some of it be returned. Hasn't threatened violence, but there is a possibility that it can escalate to that.
And even though the mental health laws say that these should be grounds to have him involuntary committed, the reality is that nothing will really be done until things escalate more.
Glad they still have a place, but UGH.
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Post by minx on Feb 23, 2024 10:50:28 GMT -5
Today's update.
They have a medical evaluation scheduled and they're going to see if he can be placed in some sort of assisted living situation.
I told her that if this was the path they were on, to call social services to find out what she needed to do to get him on Medicaid, cause the process takes a while and they want him approved ASAP.
Meanwhile I did find an apartment complex in Dahlgren that is around $1000 for a two bedroom.
This is one of those 'takes a village' things for sure!
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Feb 23, 2024 11:38:58 GMT -5
He clearly needs professional help and I can only imagine how difficult the situation is to manage for her.
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Post by minx on Feb 23, 2024 13:23:54 GMT -5
Definitely. He's been verbally and emotionally abusive for a long time, and it's only getting worse.
I don't know if he can be forced into assisted living at all though - seems like they wouldn't really have the ability to deal with a mentally ill person.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Feb 23, 2024 14:00:34 GMT -5
Based on my experience the assisted living places won't take anyone that's abusive.
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Post by minx on Feb 23, 2024 15:22:42 GMT -5
Or non-compliant.
Their only real hope is that he's put on involuntary long enough for her to move out into her own place. Then she needs to file for divorce so she's not financially responsible for his shit.
Doubt she'll do that though.
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Post by Dave's Not Here Man on Feb 23, 2024 17:01:20 GMT -5
They don't call them "tough decisions" for nothing. It's got to be eating her up and it can't be a picnic for him either.
We are SO bad at dealing with mental health issues and the greater impact it has on others, in this country. Obviously you wouldn't want someone to be institutionalized arbitrarily but you also can't effectively address the issues when the rules say it has to be voluntary in most cases (sans a crime being committed). Just think of the 10s of 1000s of people with moderate to advanced dementia and what's involved with simply taking away their car keys.
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